You Don’t Need a Title

With title season in full swing, I’ve been thinking about something I’ve heard some in the leather/kink community say. Whether on Facebook, Telegram, or at an event, I’ve heard something to the effect of “I want to be a titleholder so I can help my community.” “I want to be more involved with the scene, so I’m going to run for a title.” They see the sash, the gear, the parties, the celebration of leather and kink in these title events. They see the platform that titles can give to people in the community; people who go out and organize events, fundraisers, workshops, and speak up about issues that are central to the GLBTQ+ experience. They see the personalities, the bodies, the openness of sexuality, the raw emotions felt throughout a title year. Some of our leather family sees this, and feels a yearning. Whether the desire is to reach out to others on an issue that personally affects them or others, to socialize with fellow kinksters, to become a figure in their local scene, or purely just to use the title to explore their own kinky selves…the yearning is present.

I want to say that what I am writing is not an attack on any titles, producers or titleholders. Titles have become an integral part of our community and our ongoing history. There are so many wonderful titleholders who have been, and are, incredible leaders and voices within our global leather/kink family. Sometimes it takes a title to bring something else out of a person, something they might not have known they had. What I’m trying to do is help dispel the myth that one has to be a titleholder in order to have a lasting impact on the community. It all comes down to the willingness to reach out and use that yearning to try and make our kinky world just a little bit better; i.e: organizing events and workshops, supporting kink events, or just reaching out to someone who might be new in the lifestyle. All these things are something anyone can do.

I’ve been a part of the leather scene for around 8 years as a member of the Bucks MC, but it has only been over a year and a half ago since I started my journey into human pup play. I knew I wanted to do something to help my own local community after experiencing some difficulties in starting out as a pup. Myself and my packmate were, and are, focused on trying to help as many pups get comfortable with themselves as they possibly can. We want to help new pups get to know and meet others at pup-friendly events, and we want to help teach others about what human pup play can be. We’re in the process of helping organize a couple future events, and have done a couple educational workshops in the past. All of these things we’ve been able to do purely because we’ve put ourselves out there and have asked people for help or advice. I feel as if I’ve been able to do more as just a community member than I would be able to do if I was a titleholder (of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone).

To those who feel a desire to further connect with our own kinky family, I urge you to remember that titles aren’t everything. If one desires to run for a title, go for it and have fun doing it! These events can be a whole lot of fun, and have changed the lives of many kinksters…but you don’t need to win a title to make an impact. If you don’t feel the need to run for a title, yet want to make an impact, just look around, be open to new experiences and listen to people around the community. Be willing to do the work so that others may benefit from it.

Every single one of us can make our own mark, so what will yours be?