Public PlayJune 9, 2017
Public Play or scening is a fairly popular past-time for members of the D/s or BDSM community. It is for many an opportunity to socialize with other members of the local community. A time to introduce a new submissive or Dominant to friends. A time to reveal or perform new or different techniques before an appreciative audience.
There are a few things that a new Dominant or submissive should know prior to attending or scening at a public play party or event. Most BDSM communities have ‘suggested protocol’. These behavior suggestions vary from organization to organization in their finer detail but some broad ‘rules’ apply to virtually all of them. Clothing or attire should be dark, preferably black. Unless specifically noted by the individual or organization proffering the invitation to the event the Dominant and submissive should dress street appropriate and comport themselves in a non-expository manner upon arrival. Many public dungeons are located in residential areas or homes and it is generally the desire of the dungeon to remain ‘invisible’ to its neighbors. Often there will be parking requirements in order not to offend or block neighbors vehicles etc. Carry any props, tools or toys inside mundane bags or tubes. Be discrete.
No alcohol or drugs are permitted for anyone scening or being scened. If you intend to drink, then do not intend to play. Often there is a changing area inside of the facility and most public dungeons encourage people attending to dress in fetish attire once inside the privacy of the facility. It is proper to immediately seek out and greet your host or hostess if you are attending an invitation event. It is also appropriate to present them with a small gift.
Generally the host or hostess will inform you of the rules, limitations and restrictions of the play party. Often this occurs when the invitation is offered, however if you are unfamiliar or have not been told these rules then ask. Most hosts will also point out the attending ‘Dungeon Master/Mistresses’ upon arrival as well. The Dungeon Master/Mistress oversee’s the play scenes and the actions of persons attending the events. If you take action which is in violation of Dungeon rules then you may be escorted out of the facilities by the Dungeon Master/Mistress. If you see action taken which is in violation of the rules then gain the attention of one of the DM’s for appropriate action to be taken. In most cases this is action which is or may be nonconsensual by anyone scening, or a scene occurring without appropriate safeguards.
Be courteous. The presence of a naked submissive is not permission for you to address them in any fashion. It is considered proper for Dominants to greet each other. Often it is considered equally proper for submissives to greet each other. In general a Dominant does not greet a submissive unless they are ‘introduced’ to them by their Dominant. When such an introduction is offered the Dominant should be respectful. It is not appropriate to ‘touch’ a submissive without direct permission from their Dominant. Be prepared to see men and women in all forms of attire or lack of. Make a reasoned attempt not to gawk though you should remember that part of everyone’s ‘experience’ of the event is in ‘enjoyment of what they see’. It is appropriate to comment appreciatively on something unique and intriguing.
If this is your first public play party then ask people how they prefer to be addressed. In this way you avoid giving offense.
If you are a new submissive and this is your first event then you will probably be confronted with multiple layers of experiences. Your Dominant may require you to be unclothed or completely naked except for collar and cuffs. This public nudity may be very challenging for you. You may experience humiliation and pride at the same time. You will be further challenged to retain proper behavior which can be especially difficult when greeting people for the first time. Expect to be in ‘space’ virtually the entire time you are there. If possible refrain from wearing stiletto’s to a first event, consider wearing chunk type heels instead (you may be a bit unsteady). Expect to become ‘riveted’ by scenes and potentially to co-experience a scene you are not physically involved in. This type of kinetic connection is fairly common and especially prevalent at first events.
Look to your Dominant to indicate to you how to address individual people you are introduced to. When in doubt address any male Dominant as Sir and any female Dominant as Ma’am. Expect not to remember names.
When it comes time to scene, detach or remove the audience from consideration. This applies equally to both Dominant and submissive. Shift your attention and focus totally onto your partner. You should not listen to suggestions from the audience, nor take them. A Dominant taking ‘direction’ from an unknown viewer stresses the ‘trust’ of their submissive. Pay close attention to your partner and experience the scene together, with and for each other. Performance scening is for many something like acting or stage art, in general it is not what is desired or desirable for a D/s couple. Your scene is not FOR the audience but merely expressed in their presence.
If you are viewing other scenes you should not comment aloud or attempt to involve yourself in the scene. The elevated level of excitement can alter your normal responses, be prepared and consider your actions wisely before taking them.