It’s all fun and games til someone puts out an eye, then it’s fun and games with one eye…. As puppies and Handlers, we all want to have fun and enjoy the time, but at times the line from fun is crossed and becomes obnoxious or even dangerous. So….. (and this is not exclusive to puppy either)
- When/what is “the line” When does fun become obnoxious?
- When that happens, how should we individually and as a community handle it?
- What happens when no is not accepted as no?
- How can we as a community work to educate on what and what isn’t acceptable behavior?
- How do we define the difference between someone actually crossing the line vs someone just having an issue with the person/ex and trying to make problems for them?
EH: I've said before at pup events or at events where pups will be attending. Have a class at the beginning that explains what's accepted and what's not for that proper event. Because some events different things go. Such as CLAW pups need to be aware more because there are not only public areas but places where pups should be more self conscious of behavior. Or if it's a pup weekend it be more lax and protocol could be more laid back. But if this is feasible I don't know
JM: I was actually discussing this with somebody the other day and so I think I'll post my response to this on here.
Back before I came out as pup I went to a local bar that was hosting a pup night. I took a pup friend of mine there and he was in full gear. Hood tail and leathers. We were having a good time and he was in headspace before too long. We decided to get some food and he scarfed his down and after a few bites I'd turn around and he had taken my plate and was pretending he was going to start munching it down. It was cute. We were having fun. But it was only cute the first couple times. After a bit when I got more food I turned around and my food and drink were gone and so was the pup. At this point it was no longer fun. I was hungry and wanted my stuff back, and despite the fact that he was having fun and being playful, to me it was beginning to get obnoxious and I had to get rather stern (which I dislike) and at that point out became less fun.
The point I made to my friend and the point I'll emphasize here is, there's a fine line between playful and obnoxious, and unfortunately that line is invisible to the playful one because unless somebody actually steps in and says it, nobody will know it was bothering anyone. Now maybe it's only obnoxious to one person, who can easily walk away, but that just means that's one person who is missing out on the fun. That doesn't mean they have to shout somebody down for having fun the way they were invited to do so though. We're all there to have fun and we should remember that
TH: I'm going to start out by disputing any assertion that the "line" is blurred or invisible. To a bio canine it might be, but we are adult humans, aware of what's going on around us and responsible for our actions. Anyone who says they didn't know any better...well, sorry, but that's too often been a cop-out to carry much weight any more. Pups or not, common courtesy and manners are something we should have learned way before going to our first event.
The "line" is very simple: It's Respect. Respect for other's personal space and respect for the environment we happen to be in at the moment.
GS: I don't know about you but deep in full headspace im basically no longer thinking as a human. I'm careful where and when i go into full pupspace. However to someone deep in headspace that line can indeed be blurry.
Respect is extreeeemely subjective.
TH: I fully appreciate that headspace can be a challenge, but you answered it yourself. Awareness of where and when.
CJ: I was raised to be respectful of other people in everyday life. Being a nuisance, being loud, being obnoxious, and generally disregarding and disrespecting the people around you is something which everyone should know is unacceptable. Headspace and playfulness is no excuse to break this. So the question becomes; are these pups like this generally or do they have problems controlling themselves when they are playing. I think if they are like this generally then whatever you say is going to fall on deaf ears, so that is the question Papa woof asks, what happens when no is not accepted. I don't think I could answer that and that is the issue. If they are just a little carried away then clearly they should be receptive to comment, but how do you know which it would be and what do you do if they don't listen.
JH: s every event a popularity contest? Because that's what I see a lot, and problems seem to stem from that also, poor behavior, big egos ect.
MM: I've noticed that far too many pups use the phrase "Head space"to mean that they can do what they want without suffering any consequences. Both in or out of head space the pup is aware of what is right and what is wrong. I have also noted that a lot of the pups seem to grow an extra dose of attitude once they don their gear. In the past I've encountered rude comments from groups of pups and handlers because I wasn't what they thought was their standard of dress or maybe because of how I look. I thought that this behavior was uncalled for and on a couple of occasions made that comment. One of the handlers actually came over to me and said that I needed to excuse their actions because they were in
Head Space". I informed him that that was no excuse for acting badly. And that's just how I feel. There is never an excuse for acting rudely.
JT: In my opinion it is my handlers responsibility for the strict training, control and the safety of his pup (and others). In head space I require the guidance and the firm hand of my trainer, human logic is put on hold. Kind of the point. Ugh.
CJ: and that may work when a pup has a handler there, but not all pup's do.
MM: Not all pups have trainers/handlers.
GP: That's true but we are all adults and hopefully understand how we would want to be treated when out and about.
MM: One would think so wouldn't one. By the way. Happy Birthday. I hope that you had a great day.
JA: Well how to handle it when an issue comes up depends on each. With me people try to yell at me about something an that don't work cause yelling just makes me mad and i don't listen to 1 damn word. Talk to me normal after asking me y i did something will go much further.